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Who calls who?
Tuesday morning I got an email:
“Jay, I matched with two guys this past weekend at your speed dating event, but I have not heard from them. I wanted to make sure that you gave them the correct email.”
I double checked and let Jennifer know that, Yes, her correct email was given out to the guys. I asked “did you reach out to them”? to which I received a reply “oh no, I can’t do that.”
WELL, WHY NOT?????????????????????????
Ok, I understand that in the traditional world, it is up to the man to pursue the woman, but here is a little secret… It is 2010 and there is nothing wrong with a woman reaching out to a man that she is interested in. Years ago, yes, it may have made the woman look desperate or given off some type of negative impact.
Here is what some of you had to say. What do you think? Email me and we will post your comments. Based on below, we are still very divided on this topic.
Joe says:
June 10, 2010 at 11:15 pm
I bielieve a woman should reach out to the guy.The guy you reach out too just might be the one you have been sarching for.If you let hime get away then you have no one to blame but yourself.
Tommy H says:
June 11, 2010 at 12:09 am
Personally, I try to send the first email. But if I didn’t get to it soon enough and received an email from my female match first. I would be flattered and wouldn’t have a problem with that. Actually it happened to me once and I thought it was pretty cool.
Lisa says:
June 11, 2010 at 1:06 am
So each of you has told us two different things. Doesn’t really help.
So how abut this..what keeps you from being the first to reach out? while I am modern abut some things I do prefer the guy to make the first move.
Craig says:
June 11, 2010 at 3:21 am
The man sends the first email! If the woman doesn’t get an email asking to meet for a second date within a week after the speed dating event, then he thought about it and is just not that into you after all.
Steve says:
June 11, 2010 at 1:11 pm
I’m old school but think it is totally OK for a woman to make first contact. It is nice to know that someone out there is interested in me and that the woman is confident enough in herself to reach out. And besides, why should rejection be reserved for just the men.
Steph says:
June 11, 2010 at 2:43 pm
I think that the guy should send out the email first. If you dont hear from him in the first week, he just put you as a “Yes” because you looked good that night, or maybe he drank too much.
Laurie says:
June 11, 2010 at 4:13 pm
The man should pursue the woman. If he doesn’t, he isn’t that interested…NEXT!!!
Liz says:
June 11, 2010 at 4:20 pm
OMG! This is why dating is such a hassle. Every little move on anyone’s part is ultra-analyzed. I say–just go with your instinct…jump in, and make the move…forget about all those absurd rules. If you are intersted, express it. If the man or woman doesn’t respond, they clearly are not worth a millisecond of your valuable time. Life goes on. Men and women are fickle…moreso at the beginning of meeting someone…it’s merely all about what we see. After spending some time other things come to mind, like personality, values, lifestyle, humor.
That simple. By the way–if more than a week passes–and someone hasn’t contacted you…then:
“THEY ARE JUST NOT INTO YOU”!
It’s not rocket science folks.
Anonymous says:
June 11, 2010 at 4:50 pm
No one, that is why they are single, LOL
Sharon says:
June 12, 2010 at 12:03 pm
In a perfect world either party, male or female should feel equally comfortable reaching out to the other, especially in today’s society, premised on the equality of the sexes. Although I have no qualms about doing it and would certainly encourage other women to cast off the old dated formalities and make the first move if they are interested, I have to wonder whether some of the old primal vestiges are still lurking in the minds of men, whereby they just feel more comfortable in the role of pursuer-hunter and even though they may find it flattering if you approach them, in the long run you get a stronger and better connection when they initiate.
That being said, I don’t think that should hold women back because, as quiet as it is kept, men are plagued with insecurities too and fears of rejection and may actually welcome a woman meeting them halfway, bridging the gap to what may be a wonderful relationship. Why take the chance of missing out on an opportuity for love?
Linda says:
June 12, 2010 at 7:28 pm
I see not problem with the female reaching out to the male. It is 2010 for goodness sake!
[2010-06-14]
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